Bhain ji
I know you are hurting , you feel unappreciated , but unfortunately Guys are extremely dense and self-centred sometimes . The reaction after your daughter sounds like jealousy on his part , (been there) yes we have to look after the baby , the house and ourselves but he also needs reassurance (God knows why) that you still care about him still. But being typical male he probably cannot say it in a straightforward way so will be hypercritical of the house etc. I am sorry you lost your second child but there was nothing you could do to change anything so don't be hard on yourself . Again given his reaction to the arrival of his baby I think he is uncomfortable thinking about the death of this child and it's coming out as aggression ... You want comforting from him but he is rejecting you in a way . Be the mature one and go talk to him , say what he is scared of saying , give him a chance and the space to share his dukh . This mental wandering of yours is just wishing for your husband's care and closeness gone awry , refocus and reel Singh back into the heart of the relationship - you need each other that's why you are together.
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