I think that with all the praise of the West from their folks and being modern , combined with low actual knowledge of sikh ethics , itihaas, and social structures (meaning in the true sikh sense not punjabiyat) the current Punjabi crop mostly see foreign ristey as a bridge to get the Indian girl's/boy's folks out of Punjab or as some have pointed out a way to pave a life with an Indian BF/GF abroad. The whole enterprise is mercenary and that also goes for people from 'good' families I mean who in their right mind would send their daughter who is educated to post grad level to live with someone who id barely high school educated just because he is abroad ? The other side of this is also the grabby money-mindedness of the foreign lads' families who screw every last penny out of the prospective in-laws on condition of the marriage . We have all heard about the thriving NRI holiday bride syndrome ...where the NRI lad goes on holiday makes a marriage , takes the goods/money then leaves the bride in India whilst he returns to his country never to contact again.
What I have seen in life is both men and women want to be heard, to be understood , to have a good life , enjoy the good and be supported when bad things happen, the Guru gave us our identity and when we understand that it cuts both ways , we see ourselves in our true form -the same atma . In an Ideal sikh marriage there is a balance maintained although individuals may take the helm at different times for different life challenges, there is a wisdom in knowing, accepting and trusting the other's qualities. For those sisters who have lost touch with this sikh idea of being the same yet different I pray that that Waheguru ji graces them with sumat and they realise that they are being conned by a Western elitist agenda to destabilise the family and faith in God, through third wave feminism and SJW trends.
Marriage's purpose in Sikhi is to give sangat of the right kind : to develop your spirituality and attain life's mission whilst also giving an arena to experience controlled kaamna (desires) and project a positivity and positive effect into the world . That being said , are we actually marrying or just pretending to marry these days ? If we use the correct criteria for selection, we would be making true marriages where there was a meeting of minds and souls but until we seperate the crassiness of maya-driven Punjabiyat from the whole scene we will be stuck with disastrous results and the downturn of sikh values in the kaum.
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