Satnaam - his name is truth. Everything else is false only the name of the creator is true. So what does this mean....
For you it means this - this body is false, all your desires are false, all your feelings are false, all your thoughts are false.
So what is true - the truth is God did not create the soul as male or female. God created everyone with a purpose. The main purpose was naam simran. When this body will pass away - nothing will be left but you a little soul - without a body. Who will guide you then ? His name will. However if you are still stuck in thoughts of shall I get married or not ? shall I have sex or not ? Shall i have children or not ?
Well those thoughts are what will be left with you when you leave your body. When will that be ? It could be any time. No one knows how much time we have left. Would you like to come back and still have to live on this earth with all its problems starring you at the face?
Whatever your past sins - naam is powerful enough to burn them. However you need to turn to naam first. Slowly in time - naam will bear fruit. Thoughts of your sexuality, marriage etc will start to evaporate and you will realise that you are a soul sent here with a mission. Perhaps you will realise your sexuality to be a blessing for you. Naam brings brings blessings to all - however you need to get down to practising it first.
It is fine to just do a few asatpadies of Sukhmani sahib as a starter. Speed comes with time. Devote half an hour or an hour everyday at the same time. if you workout - you can listen to the kirtan version of sukhmani. You can decide alternatively to read each astpadi like 5 times instead. This means you are repeating it and will find it easier as time goes by. In a month you will have read each astpadi 5 times... this means your confidence in reading the bani will increase too.
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