bro ,
you may think going with a pro is going to solve your problem , it isn't, it will increase your conflict internally, because you will feel guilty about giving into your base instincts instead to respecting yourself . Why not let your first be someone you actually care for and want to remember ?
why don't you have amrit , it has zero to do with your career ... is there ever going to be a perfect time ? life has no guarantees better to action your commitment to Guru ji than delay it . Do you think you want to get married ? BTW most blondes are bottle ones and they are just the same as other women... sorry to bust your bubble, I know why you fetishize them it's your viewing choices.
p.s. with your online viewing habits you should realise it is a very damaging pastime.
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