Our family did the same as your mother penji. Didn't accept nothing. We said we want a daughter, not a daaj deal, and said give her only what she wants for herself, e.g: clothes or something she will use herself, if you're not going to stop, but we want nothing. And they respected us for that.
I think it's embedded as norm, with most people there. Only the wise ones won't accept or ask for daaj. When one of our cousins got married in India, the sister in law wouldn't stop complaining that her parents gave her so little, well hardly anything. So that really p*****d me off, and I said it to her direct in front of the elders. I said, what haven't you got, whatever her parents give her is for her only, and they give what they like. And she should be ashamed of complaining or expecting anything. I shouted at her, despite her not liking it, but it soon shut her up. An elder said to her, to learn something from me, and gave me shabash. In some families they only turn up to see what the girls side have given, which is disgusting.
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