First of all I must say it's not something that's unique to Sikhs. It's an attitude that's steeped in - surprise surprise - Punjabi culture. To claim it's a Sikh thing is implying it has precedence in Sikh teachings, which is like suggesting cousin marriage is a universal Islamic practice, and smoking (weird example, I know) is a Christian thing. When discussing such issues we must be specific and learn to correctly label the name of things.
Secondly, I agree, OP. If you think children of divorced parents have it tough in these situations, spare a thought for the kids of a widowed parent. In both cases there is definitely a stigma surrounding one-parent families in our culture. My own theory is that the Punjabi masses assume the child (and later adult) hadn't been raised in a stable, disciplined environment due to there being only one parent on the scene, and so that somehow spells trouble for the potential partner of such a person. I can see the faint logic in assuming that might be true, but even the most cursory of glances at our community tells us that kids and young adults where both parents are still together don't need any encouragement when it comes to misbehaviour. Unfortunately attributes such as personal responsibility, honour, respect, and integrity are assumed to be found only in complete families, whereas in my experience the most duplicitous and disarmingly deceptive youngsters and young adults are found in families where both parents have assumed parenting responsibilities.
What can you do? Be the best person you can be. People will know what you're all about if you've kept your nose clean, because as funny as it may sound, those same people who gossip about wayward kids, are also the same people who notice the good kids keeping their noses clean. Word gets around no matter what. Just keep plugging away, you'll be fine.
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